An ideal world.

In an ideal world,

we would have met in a bar

Just drunk on memories

And we would have walked

To the bus stop.

 

In an ideal world,

You would have called back

And we would set a friday

For ‘Thank You’ Coffee.

 

In an ideal world,

we would talk for hours

not about people or ‘wyd?’

but about what makes us better.

 

In an ideal world,

our dreams would lead towards

the same destination

even on different roads.

 

In an ideal world,

after our fights you would come

with chocolate chip ice cream

and I would melt at sight.

 

In an ideal world,

you would reply to my texts,

call back at my misssed calls

and not keep me hanging.

 

In an ideal worldd,

you and I

would be

Us.

 

But even the air around us isn’t ideal,

So how could the world be?

 

-S

 

A Winter Afternoon

And then there were the two of them

Not against the world

But themselves,

And they sat under the sun

one winter afternoon

With nothing but silence between them

He knew what she wanted to hear

She knew he would never feel it.

Maybe it was selfish on her part

To want to hear it so bad

He said it like he meant it

And then she realized why silence was better,

Always better than words, anyway.

Guilt

Though there exists a myriad of emotions in the human personality, guilt is one which isn’t talked about much. Cause, in order to feel the G one has to accept the mistake, has been made and in turn take responsibility at least in front of him/herself.

And then comes the time when you punish yourself and hate yourself for that.

But that isn’t the last straw. It hurts the most when the person closest to you speaks out the words aloud and the world comes crumbling down around you, and you stare stare blankly toward a tomorrow which shall never come.

-S

Christmas Special

Shooting Star

11:11

Fallen eyelash

Stana Clause

Childhood remnants or rather

As we later realize lies.

Lies to make us believe in  a better world

Lies to help us sleep at night

Lies to make us wake up in the morning

But these lies are necessary

Or how else were we to live and not just survive

In this world.

Those childhood lies made us believe in magic

Even when we can’t see them!

And there lies the spirit of Christmas.

-S

 

 

Saw a film today. The protagonist was asked to name the five most important people in her life. And she named four of them with a second thought.

And I started thinking who were the five most important people in my life. Surprisingly, I couldn’t. Forget five, I couldn’t name one.

I am twenty years old with no major problems or incidents in my tenure of life. I have had everything-family, house, food,money,clothes, birthday parties, vacations, and the list continues.

Yes, I have a very bad track record with friends. my closest friends betrayed me at the age of ten. After that, I stopped opening up to people. People think that they know me very well but what they don’t realize that , that they know only what I want them to know. They see the ‘Soumi’ I want them to see.

So today when I asked myself the top five closest people in my life I had no answer. Cause no one knows me. Is this me? Or others face this as well?

 

Stay

Today the sun isn’t the sun,

But just a blazing ball of fire

And the only word my lips can form

is…. Stay.

Stay

Cause you make me a better person.

 

Stay

Cause you are what my dreams are made of.

Stay

Cause I am here and you aren’t.

Stay

Cause you know that I won’t ask you to.

Stay

Cause, Just ’cause.

Lost

“I lost, Again”

I uttered these words to my reflection.

“Yeah,Right”, it said back.

And it was all it took for the flashbacks to start.

Maybe it was just me getting up on the wrong side of the bed, tomorrow will be okay.

But who the hell was I kidding.

Both of us knew, that tonight was going  be a long night and I would be hung over tomorrow morning.

And then it started, the flashbacks stabbing invisible knives which bleed invisible guilt.

It was then I realized that I have become totally empty from within.

I realized these nightly battles with my demons have robbed me even of my pain and now I feel

NOTHING.

For equality to survive, if some succeed, others have to fail and somehow Fate always puts me in the later.

So tonight I will just attain new heights of getting low and get hung over on my failures.

 

-Sorry,yet again.

Unexpected Gestures

There are those days

when you think that

no matter what, you just can’t

Carry on.

It’s on these days

that some unexpected, utterly small gestures

utterly small gestures,

make us realize

why life is beautiful.

A stranger’s smile,

A friend’s forgiveness

Mom’s letter ,

Papa’s phone call.

or

your crush’s “hi..”

It’s these gestures which

helps us get through the day.

~S

 

 

The Dream

So you see, I would absolutely love to be with you,but if the day dawns and you decide not to , don’t trouble yourself. You see I have the dream of you and me together. Sitting on a park bench watching the sunset- My dream has the fragrance of the dried autumn leaves mixed with your cologne, the sound of rustling leaves and distant laughter of children in the park,  the feel of your palms against mine and silence. I no longer remember your voice, you see…but silence works just fine ’cause we don’t need words.

It’s you, Always!

We keep falling for people we shouldn’t

People who leave us

People who don’t fight for us

People who never call us back after cutting our calls

People who are like bottomless containers.

 

I know you still love her

One just doesn’t get over a love like that

And I know that you still blame yourself for leaving her

Coz you love her, doofus!

And in between making you realize that you love her

I fell for you

And all I could do was laugh at the irony!

 

So I every other night I shall try to guard my heart

Not to be ensnared by delusions of getting you

Cause, darling , We aren’t meant to be.