This pain is hard.
One can fight against opposition if it’s outside.
But what do you do, when you are in a fight with your own self?
What do you do when winning and losing hurts the same?
Okay, no more sugar coating.
I am in a dilemma whether to keep loving you or to stop.
I know I should stop. That’s the logical step.
But then you do something stupid like calling me when you are about to faint and I, like the love-stricken puppy I am, run to you. And afterward, kept thinking how I was the last the person you thought of.
I know this is silly, this whole thing. Shutting off my heart from this is the only feasible thing to do. But all I can dream about is how you tell me that you do in fact love me. You tell me that I am worth being loved, worth being fought for.
This is the fantasy world I have created. It gives me the high cause accepting the reality is too difficult. Accepting the alternative is too painful. Cause then I keep questing my worthiness, my love any decisions.
And the worst thing in all of this is you are not at fault.maybe a little but not in a way that it makes you wrong.We are just two people stuck in a wrong time frame. The only way to get through this hell is to keep going through this.
Just so you know, I love you. With all your faults, your scars, and everything. I tried a lot to stop, but this just doesn’t go away. Well, maybe I just have to keep living with this unrequited love of mine. But know this, you are the one and will be for a long long time.
I love you.