Christmas Special

Shooting Star

11:11

Fallen eyelash

Stana Clause

Childhood remnants or rather

As we later realize lies.

Lies to make us believe in  a better world

Lies to help us sleep at night

Lies to make us wake up in the morning

But these lies are necessary

Or how else were we to live and not just survive

In this world.

Those childhood lies made us believe in magic

Even when we can’t see them!

And there lies the spirit of Christmas.

-S

 

 

Saw a film today. The protagonist was asked to name the five most important people in her life. And she named four of them with a second thought.

And I started thinking who were the five most important people in my life. Surprisingly, I couldn’t. Forget five, I couldn’t name one.

I am twenty years old with no major problems or incidents in my tenure of life. I have had everything-family, house, food,money,clothes, birthday parties, vacations, and the list continues.

Yes, I have a very bad track record with friends. my closest friends betrayed me at the age of ten. After that, I stopped opening up to people. People think that they know me very well but what they don’t realize that , that they know only what I want them to know. They see the ‘Soumi’ I want them to see.

So today when I asked myself the top five closest people in my life I had no answer. Cause no one knows me. Is this me? Or others face this as well?

 

Stay

Today the sun isn’t the sun,

But just a blazing ball of fire

And the only word my lips can form

is…. Stay.

Stay

Cause you make me a better person.

 

Stay

Cause you are what my dreams are made of.

Stay

Cause I am here and you aren’t.

Stay

Cause you know that I won’t ask you to.

Stay

Cause, Just ’cause.

Lost

“I lost, Again”

I uttered these words to my reflection.

“Yeah,Right”, it said back.

And it was all it took for the flashbacks to start.

Maybe it was just me getting up on the wrong side of the bed, tomorrow will be okay.

But who the hell was I kidding.

Both of us knew, that tonight was going  be a long night and I would be hung over tomorrow morning.

And then it started, the flashbacks stabbing invisible knives which bleed invisible guilt.

It was then I realized that I have become totally empty from within.

I realized these nightly battles with my demons have robbed me even of my pain and now I feel

NOTHING.

For equality to survive, if some succeed, others have to fail and somehow Fate always puts me in the later.

So tonight I will just attain new heights of getting low and get hung over on my failures.

 

-Sorry,yet again.

Unexpected Gestures

There are those days

when you think that

no matter what, you just can’t

Carry on.

It’s on these days

that some unexpected, utterly small gestures

utterly small gestures,

make us realize

why life is beautiful.

A stranger’s smile,

A friend’s forgiveness

Mom’s letter ,

Papa’s phone call.

or

your crush’s “hi..”

It’s these gestures which

helps us get through the day.

~S

 

 

The Dream

So you see, I would absolutely love to be with you,but if the day dawns and you decide not to , don’t trouble yourself. You see I have the dream of you and me together. Sitting on a park bench watching the sunset- My dream has the fragrance of the dried autumn leaves mixed with your cologne, the sound of rustling leaves and distant laughter of children in the park,  the feel of your palms against mine and silence. I no longer remember your voice, you see…but silence works just fine ’cause we don’t need words.

It’s you, Always!

We keep falling for people we shouldn’t

People who leave us

People who don’t fight for us

People who never call us back after cutting our calls

People who are like bottomless containers.

 

I know you still love her

One just doesn’t get over a love like that

And I know that you still blame yourself for leaving her

Coz you love her, doofus!

And in between making you realize that you love her

I fell for you

And all I could do was laugh at the irony!

 

So I every other night I shall try to guard my heart

Not to be ensnared by delusions of getting you

Cause, darling , We aren’t meant to be.

A Short Story

The evening sun was still setting, painting everything in a melancholy light.

She moved to the portio to get the last vestiges of the sunlight ’cause after this there was a long night ahead.

She was sitting on the rocking chair and her cell phone rang. A familiar number. She said,”Hello?”

And they went back through the tunnels of time back to days when there were long walks with the sun setting on the background, children’s laughter from the parks and the sparkle in his eyes on seeing her smile. There weren’t much talking but then who needed words when actions were there to show your feelings.

Suddenly her phone vibrated again, “There?”

Seems calls and meetings are history, words are all that’s left and LOL is the only laughter left.

Don’t hold me back

Every time I decide to end it

I find your name flashing over

My phone’s screen.

Every time I decide that

Enough is enough,

A notification blinks bearing your name.

Every time I turn around

Never to look back again,

You hold my hand and

make me stay.

 

Why do I have to stay

When you leave.

 

Tonight I am making a decision

To say goodbye

To secrets and stolen kisses

To warm breakfasts and hand holding

To sunshine and puppies

To us , that will never be.

 

Don’t hold me back, again.

 

 

~S

 

Will you?

All those phone calls

Just call one last time to

Tell that they meant nothing

Will you?

 

Hope is a dangerous thing

And caring is no longer an advantage

Call again at 3:00

Will you?

 

Now that you have become a habit

Show me the way to undo it

Will you?

 

Because now phone calls have

Become a jinx; memories a taboo

Help me believe in fairy tales again

Will you?